I don’t care that you got into drugs for three months straight, or how much sleep you lost in that period. I don’t care that you went home and fucked that person and woke up at 6am hating everything about yourself, or that you drank, smoked, and partied so much you thought your lungs would give out.
You’re not a bad person for the ways you’ve tried to kill your sadness. And anyone who judges you as such is a hypocrite. Most are too afraid to face their true selves.
You’re just human, and being human means you need to survive. Fuck everyone else.
“Truth is unalterable, eternal, and unambiguous. It can be unrecognized, but it cannot be changed. It is beyond learning because it is beyond time and process. It has no opposite; no beginning and no end. It merely is.” ― A Course In Miracles
You, who read this now, may be from half way across the world. We may be separated by decades of age and experience or be from completely different races, cultures, and religions but we can all relate to the ever-present helplessness, fear, and disconnection we feel being part of the human race on planet Earth. But feeling lost, in reality, is a universal truth that connects us all. We share the same journey; to stop allowing fear to chose our lives for us, and end the control it has over our existence.
Most of us believe we need more of some THING to keep this constant fear at bay. More money, more success, more ‘friends’ and ‘likes’ on our Facebook page. Many of us will do almost anything to get these THINGS. Some of us dishonor our boundaries and compromise our true selves to feel accepted. Some even try to conquer their helplessness through intimidation; living a life of greed and unhinged aggression, and taking advantage of their fellow human beings in return for a false and empty sense of superiority. These facades prove yet another universal connection; WE ARE ALL HELD HOSTAGE BY OUR FEAR.
All these tactics and manipulations are defensive human staples utilized to feel, even for just a moment, a respite from our loneliness and fear. The truth is, fear is not real. Fear is created only by our perceptions. True connection is not something to be attained. It simply is… always whispering quietly in our consciousness while the world rages on, drowning out the truth, and roaring the lies our experiences have ingrained in us since childhood. The greatest lie being that the vulnerability which accompanies connection must be avoided because if anyone truly sees who we are – they will reject us. And there is nothing worse than that.
Pain and tragedy have become what defines most of our society. It is constantly screamed into our consciousness through every medium available. As it increases, it becomes almost impossible to let our guard down enough to empathize and truly SEE or understand the other humans who are all around us, and in the same stranglehold of fear and pain that cripples us.
Almost every sensation we encounter is now based in an instant gratification that stems from our need to distance ourselves from this primal pain the simplest way we know how; DISTRACTION. It is a web that both protects and suffocates which we willingly and gratefully envelope ourselves in. Our phones, computers, and televisions have become the way to live a false life of connection through the safety of disconnection. It’s empty and transitory but it’s easier than seeing the reality of what CHANGE honestly requires from us; facing ourselves, what has formed us, understanding and forgiving those who have had a hand in our formation, and ultimately forgiving ourselves. It is a momentous undertaking and understandably the most terrifying thing any of us can attempt.
It’s comforting to blame the external world for our fears. If it’s the outside world’s fault then we don’t have to take responsibility for how our lives turn out and we’re off the hook from the fact that we avoided recognizing the transformation desperately waiting to be embraced by us. It’s distressing to accept that we have always had the power at any moment to live our lives to the fullest but have chosen to deny it out of fear.
Because our past seemingly reflects our future, we don’t expect to see things transform and we are often blind to them when they do change. If hope and possibility are not within our Rolodex of life experiences, we don’t recognize the warmth when it finally shines on us. Most of our energy is put into imagining what life would be like if only we had more time and money. Then we’d feel safe. If only we were thinner or more popular. Then we’d feel accepted. If only we had more outside sources of love. Then we’d finally feel adequate inside our own skin.
THE TRUTH IS, if we have the courage to destroy the defensive walls we have built around ourselves, and become absolutely fascinated with our fellow human beings and enthralled with the world of miracles around us, we would finally and truly let ourselves feel the unconditional love that has always been available to us.
If we can forgive ourselves for getting lost in the human condition by letting fear control us, just as everyone else has, we can finally BE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. Start by realizing that everything is made from atoms. If everything originates from the same energy source then EVERYTHING is really only ONE entity. We are part of an all-encompassing energy presence that embodies all of us. Therefore, whether we recognize it or not, we have always been connected. You and I have never been strangers. We as humans were never separate. I am you. You are me. WE ARE ONE.
All of you are precious to me, and we are not alone in this present moment. We continue our journey towards the collective realization that we are all one and always have been. Peace be with you all!:)
“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
― Lao Tzu
-Rumi (30 September 1207 – 17 December 1273)
The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people. – Randy Pausch
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Course in Miracles.
Of course, this is a matter of opinion but here are a few of my favorite first lines from novels. I’d love to hear what your favorites are so don’t be shy and comment below!:)
“See the child.”
—Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian
“A woman has written yet another story that is not interesting, though it has a hurricane in it, and a hurricane usually promises to be interesting.”
—Lydia Davis, “The Center of the Story”
“We wanted more.”
—Justin Torres, We the Animals
“Your father picks you up from prison in a stolen Dodge Neon, with an 8-ball of coke in the glove compartment and a hooker named Mandy in the back seat.”
—Dennis Lehane, “Until Gwen”
“A screaming comes across the sky.”
—Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. -Lao Tzu
“You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”