“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other”
doesn’t make any sense.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.”
Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
Once we have been trained to be ashamed of ourselves, we don’t need active confirmation from others. We supply it on their behalf. We assume others are disappointed in us, even those we love. We fill in the blanks between us and others with the most damaging possible messages; even when those messages are not their intention at all. It is this willingness, this need to fill the blanks with self-condemnation and shame, that can collapse relationships and destroy marriages. It leads to all manner of self-destructive behaviors. Shame fuels itself, becomes its own self-fulfilling prophecy. And no one, no matter how kind or supportive they are, can sustain support for someone who has succumbed to the voice of shame.
For adults, shame can be about everything; our sexual selves, our failures, our imperfect bodies, our difficult pasts, our losses, the relentless litany of our regrets. Shame can leech the joy out of life. It is a loop of self-destructive internal dialogues that blind us to what is good and magical and strong in us. Shame is a sure fire recipe for depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, divorce, alienation and despair.
Now for the good news! There is a simple and powerful answer for dealing with humanity’s culture of shame: TALK ABOUT IT.
Shame is deeply personal. We can not know what others might view as shaming unless we talk with them about it. And this includes our friends, wives, husbands, parents and children.
Shame thrives on confusion and misunderstanding. When you illuminate shame by talking about it, its power diminishes. This is the first step to creating a culture of discovery and compassion.
This week’s quote embodies fearlessness. Has the Universe neatly mapped out a plan for our potential? We can’t know for sure. But if we live fearlessly we may find peace at the end of our days instead of regrets. That makes the struggle worth it. Following your inner voice can be terrifying but it is the only way to fully Become.
“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs
“We are not created or destroyed, we are constantly transferred, shifted and renewed. Everything we are is given to us. Death does not come when a body is too exhausted to live. Death comes, because the brilliance inside us can only be contained for so long. We do not die. We pass on. We pass on the lightning burning through our throats. when you leave me I will not cry for you. I will run into the strongest wind I can find and welcome you home.” -Michael Lee.
the courageous court tragedy, and welcome challenge because it provides an opportunity to do the right thing in the face of their fears.
“The most spiritual human beings, assuming they are the most courageous, also experience by far the most painful tragedies: but it is precisely for this reason that they honor life, because it brings against them its most formidable weapons.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
“Here’s to the crazy ones — the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs
Finding perseverance in the face of life’s challenges can feel impossible at times but we all have an inner truth that can lead us to the right opportunites if we can only stop, breath, and listen for a moment. This week’s anonymous quote reminds us we can trust ourselves to yield to the fate that presents itself.
“SEEK ALWAYS, for by searching for one thing you will surely find another – this is the path to wisdom.”
I have always admired those who believe in defying the ‘natural law of entropy’ and resisting the seemingly inevitable decline into the gradual disorder of the universe. These wise ones know that creation can come from destruction. This weeks quote is dedicated to all you warriors of optimism out there. Long may you reign!:)
“When things evolve to link up perfectly and the universe defies it’s own law of chaos, it effortlessly moves from simple chaos to complex order.”