Searching for some peace? Experience the present moment…

If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

Lao Tzu

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You’re not a bad person for the ways you’ve tried to kill your sadness…

I don’t care that you got into drugs for three months straight, or how much sleep you lost in that period. I don’t care that you went home and fucked that person and woke up at 6am hating everything about yourself, or that you drank, smoked, and partied so much you thought your lungs would give out.

You’re not a bad person for the ways you’ve tried to kill your sadness. And anyone who judges you as such is a hypocrite. Most are too afraid to face their true selves.

You’re just human, and being human means you need to survive. Fuck everyone else.

 

BEST FIRST LINES FROM NOVELS:

Of course, this is a matter of opinion but here are a few of my favorite first lines from novels. I’d love to hear what your favorites are so don’t be shy and comment below!:)

“See the child.”

—Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian

“A woman has written yet another story that is not interesting, though it has a hurricane in it, and a hurricane usually promises to be interesting.”

—Lydia Davis, “The Center of the Story”

“We wanted more.”

—Justin Torres, We the Animals

“Your father picks you up from prison in a stolen Dodge Neon, with an 8-ball of coke in the glove compartment and a hooker named Mandy in the back seat.”

—Dennis Lehane, “Until Gwen”

“A screaming comes across the sky.”

—Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow

Shame thrives on confusion and misunderstanding. When you illuminate shame by talking about it, its power diminishes.

Once we have been trained to be ashamed of ourselves, we don’t need active confirmation from others. We supply it on their behalf. We assume others are disappointed in us, even those we love. We fill in the blanks between us and others with the most damaging possible messages; even when those messages are not their intention at all. It is this willingness, this need to fill the blanks with self-condemnation and shame, that can collapse relationships and destroy marriages. It leads to all manner of self-destructive behaviors. Shame fuels itself, becomes its own self-fulfilling prophecy. And no one, no matter how kind or supportive they are, can sustain support for someone who has succumbed to the voice of shame.

Shame strips us of our natural sense of self-preservation and replaces it with a willingness to do anything to get off the arbitrary and hateful hot seat as defined by whatever bully might seek to shame us. Some children see their parents that way. Its a chilling thought and should give us all pause.

 

For adults, shame can be about everything; our sexual selves, our failures, our imperfect bodies, our difficult pasts, our losses, the relentless litany of our regrets. Shame can leech the joy out of life. It is a loop of self-destructive internal dialogues that blind us to what is good and magical and strong in us. Shame is a sure fire recipe for depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, divorce, alienation and despair.
Now for the good news! There is a simple and powerful answer for dealing with humanity’s culture of shame: TALK ABOUT IT.
Shame is deeply personal. We can not know what others might view as shaming unless we talk with them about it. And this includes our friends, wives, husbands, parents and children.

Shame thrives on confusion and misunderstanding. When you illuminate shame by talking about it, its power diminishes. This is the first step to creating a culture of discovery and compassion.

Passing on…”When you leave me I will not cry for you. I will run into the strongest wind I can find and welcome you home.”

We are not created or destroyed, we are constantly transferred, shifted and renewed. Everything we are is given to us. Death does not come when a body is too exhausted to live. Death comes, because the brilliance inside us can only be contained for so long. We do not die. We pass on. We pass on the lightning burning through our throats. when you leave me I will not cry for you. I will run into the strongest wind I can find and welcome you home.” -Michael Lee.

Anonymous quotes: Yielding to fate.

Finding perseverance in the face of life’s challenges can feel impossible at times but we all have an inner truth that can lead us to the right opportunities if we can only stop, breath, and listen for a moment. This week’s anonymous quote reminds us we can trust ourselves to yield to the fate that presents itself.

“SEEK ALWAYS, for by searching for one thing you will surely find another – this is the path to wisdom.”